Seeing Like Amber

Photo Credit: Amber Payliss

My morning did not have a good start. You know the kind of morning when you stumble to the coffee maker, and before you know it, somehow, you’ve spewed hot brown liquid all over your fresh shirt?

Yup. That happened.

Then I went to hang up my new Baltimore Oriole feeder, and somehow managed to get the grape jelly I used as bird food to drip down on my aforementioned coffee-stained shirt. The purple melds nicely with the brown stains.

That happened too.

I sat down to eat my breakfast and enjoy the warm, buttered toast I had prepared. But wait a minute…. the vision in my left eye was so blurry, I couldn’t see the bread…

What was happening???

Panic ensued without any critical thought whatsoever. My Mom went blind at 75, and I am scared that it will happen to me. And maybe it was happening…..

With shaking hands, I took off my glasses and tried not to throw up.

….and suddenly, I could see clearly.

False alarm. I had managed to spread peanut butter over the left lens of my glasses.

Coffee, grape jelly and peanut butter. I just stood up, grabbed Isla’s leash and strode out the door for a dog walk, grateful that I could still see.

And seeing became all I thought about as I walked on the trails behind my house.

Well, seeing, and my friend Amber Payliss.

Amber is a photographer. - www.instagram.com/thebugparade But not just any kind of photographer. Amber is a wildlife - fly fishing – outdoor - conservation artist who has the unique ability that only the best photographers have – she can capture not just a picture but the story behind the picture. Yes, of course, she knows about lighting and composition, but it is her gift of infusing emotion into her shots that makes her exceptional. She can see things and anticipate things that those of us who are mere mortals without the gifts of “photographic vision” cannot do.

(Imagine what she could do with my coffee/grape jelly/peanut butter-stained self!)

As I took Isla and marched out onto the trail, I decided I would try to “see” like Amber. I didn’t plan on taking any pictures but to simply try my best to look at the world as she does.

Seeing like a photographer is hard, especially when you’re walking with a cattle dog who wants to race, leap over fallen logs and romp every moment.

I had to adjust my plans a bit, spend some time having Isla chase a ball till she was a bit tired (note the use of the term “a bit”. Cattle dogs don’t get tired, they just get bored!) Eventually, she slowed down and I could start to really “see”.

HOLY COW!!!!!

My world erupted with colour, light and texture, becoming vivid and quite spectacular.  

Things I might have ignored, like a pale green leaf unfolding around a white blossom or an emerging leaf bud with the faintest outline of red on its edges, came into clear focus.

I could start to see patterns in the forest and the multitude of branches that hung over my head. I could distinguish the many thousands of delineations of colour in the rocks that I was clamouring over and trying not to fall into while I followed Isla.

It made me think about all I could have missed if I hadn’t taken the time to pause and try to see like Amber.  

I did take a few pictures, not because I thought any would be good, but because I wanted to explore whether I could capture what I was now seeing within a picture frame. I took about a gazillion pictures of bloodwort just popping up through the dry brown leaves, surrounded by trout lilies. But only one out of a gazillion seemed to come close to the wonder that I could see when I looked at it. And I know without a doubt that Amber would have seen the same bloodwort and captured its uniqueness so much better than I.

I’m attaching a picture of me that Amber took last summer. In it, you see me and a fish. But you can literally feel joy emanate from me, amazed that I caught this fish and equally excited as I prepare to release it back to the river. Only someone with Amber’s artistry, her vision and creativity, and her magic could do that.

This is a time in our history when we must see all the good in the world and not be demoralized by that which is not. Let’s all try to “see” the world the way Amber does. Search for the beauty of the salmon or the bloodwort, even when you’ve got coffee, grape jelly and peanut butter standing in your way. The world will be a better place if you do.